Celebrate Life..Everyday...

• Find yourself in a deep trauma, day after day?

• Same old boring routine with no hope of a change in scene in the near conceivable future?

• Life is so dull and boring that even watching a re-run of a not so favorite soap is better than nothing?

Hey, come on, shake yourself out of it. Life is meant to be enjoyed in all its glorious hues. Every day is cause for celebration, every moment is to be lived to its fullest potential.

You know, life can be whatever you want it to be. Life is not always about choices; it doesn’t always have to be this or that. It can be this and that.

I love life and I find a gazillion reasons to celebrate life. It’s not only birthdays, anniversaries etc which get celebrated out here. It’s every day and every moment. I find it more interesting when my girl is away from me; because that makes my love & time foe her more dedicated and gives me the reason to wait for another day thinking that there she is coming...!!!!

I want to show you how I liven up my life. Just take a leaf out of my book and I assure you your zest for life will really take you places.

Celebrate the Fact That You Are Alive:

• Celebrate the sheer fact that you are alive. Alive and in good health.

If there are children in the family, celebrate the fact that you are alive and have been given an opportunity to spend time with them and see them grow.

Celebrate the Fact That You Are Getting Opportunities:

• Try to learn something new everyday. It could be a new hobby like cooking or karate or a new game or a course which you never got time to finish in college or school or a booty shaking classes. Celebrate the fact that you are getting the opportunity now. Hmm...Like my friend Arvind Bhat (Age : 32; loll not a lame guys)..learning Dance...oopss soorry...Salsa, Jive...which concludes that life isnt just about a 9-5 job.. Just take a deep thought and there is goes....
  

• Celebrate the fact that with internet and email, the world is a much smaller place to be in.

• Even if you’ve been through bad times or going through a bad time, celebrate the fact that you have been given the strength to bear it. Good times will come again. Life isn't just about winning, Learn from the past rather than going on working why it went wrong.
  

Celebrate the Fact That You Have Free Time On Your Hands:

• Take a much needed vacation or cruise. Revel in the fact that you got your chance or at least back pack it because opportunity knocks only once! Or at least get away for a weekend.

• If you have a lot of free time on hand, celebrate the fact that you suddenly have the time to catch up on the reading which you’ve always been wanting to.

Go out on a picnic and enjoy the local sights which you’ve never had the time for till now.

Celebrate the fact that you have free time on your hands and go visit your favorite spa or beauty parlor. Aah, bliss! loll...there is a special reason why I included this line here and the reason is my Girl. She is just exclusively enjoying the days of her life...

• Catch up with old friends whom you’ve lost touch with and celebrate the fact that you’ve been given this moment to get in touch with them again. I always avoided to be in touch with my old friends and cause of this there were times when I failed to recognize them...shame on me. But now I learned to get the hold of them.ha ha by hook or by crook;
  

Celebrate Everyday Events:

• Set small goals for every day and if you complete it by the end of the day, that sure is cause for celebration. (Whatever I'm today is just cause of this; My Dad's own methodology to celebrate life like this and got fortunately inherited to me.
  

• Celebrate the fact that you have successfully maintained your diet today. Ha ha... :) Sorry I wont write more on this; as my folk thinks that this way my celebrations are putting on.
  

• Celebrate the fact that you haven’t lost your temper all day.

• Celebrate the fact that you didn’t procrastinate on unpleasant jobs.

• Celebrate big time if you’ve been able to help somebody today.

So, come on. I have given you umpteen reasons to celebrate. I am sure after reading this; you will find a gazillion reasons to celebrate too.

I live life each day as if it’s my first and last. I enjoy and savor every moment. So, I’m able to get the best out of life.

My parents, my job, my girl (regardless to say Reema Shah -> how can I forget you honey), my taste towards my life gives me infinite reason to smile everyday & celebrate my life in its own way.

Your Self Image And Success

People want to make money, and get rich, happy etc. Many people have not scratched the surface of success, so they simply do not know that they must change to succeed. The biggest denominator that makes people succeed or fail is usually down to self image and values, and belief systems. Change the image, change the results.

The self image is a crucial subject. How you think of yourself determines who you think you are. For most materialistic people who have not looked at personally developing themselves do not realize that our beliefs determine our actions, and those actions will either take us to our goal or away from our goals.

Someone who is or has been on welfare, may have enjoyed the benefits of welfare, but has not realized the cost to how they view there own worthiness. The doctor with a doctor self image will treat patients and get them well, whereas a doctor with a poor self image may soon find they are looking for other occupations!

This may seem hard to grasp, especially if you think that there is some precarious higher power that dishes out abundance to whom it pleases. God helps those who help themselves.

Your image of yourself determines your values, and your actions. A doctor heals, whereas a soldier wants to save its own sides people, and eliminate the enemy. I remember speaking to a friend recently. When giving him brief coaching to help him get more out of life, I realized that even though he wanted more success, his self image was one of being one of the crowd; not to rise, and not to move forward on goals because of fear of ridicule. This type of self image destroys dreams, and if the self image is not changed, then the results stay same as today and yesterday.

Imagine going to another country, your choice of destination for a vacation. Where you are now, and where that destination is, is a different place. It requires changes. If you imagine a city suburb, and that is where you are, and your chosen destination is a tropical sunny place with great nature sceneries, then there must be changes! This is same with most people, change the self image, and change the result.

The key to change is awareness, and it begins with questions. Who am I? What am I? Who are my top 5 friends? What do I value most? Taking an inventory about yourself shows more about your self image.

The next step is to consider who you want to be? Look at role models, after all there must be someone who has achieved what you want to achieve. Take a look at what they do, how they do it. If you do not have immediate access to this person, then find their biography or as much information about them. Modeling your role model is a great way to get yourself in a position to think and act as they do.

Modeling the best is a great way to achieve the success you want to achieve. Your self image is a crucial part of the process of change. If you have not achieved a result before, then it is going to require change. As your self image changes, your thoughts change, your actions change, and ultimately you get the results you want.

Live Your Dreams - Six Steps To Success And A Life You Love....

Here's an easy way to remember the six main steps to a life that's successful -- in whatever way you choose to define success. The key is in the word DREAMS. Dreams are where we start, and each letter of the word is also a reminder of another important step.

D: Start with a dream.

Obvious, right? We all want to retire to a tropical island and spend our days on the beach drinking cocktails. Oh, you don't drink? And you'd rather be climbing mountains? Oh well, everyone's different. What's your dream? The better you understand what you're looking for, and WHY, the more chance you have of achieving it.

R: Recognise Where You Are

It might be a long way from where you are now to where you want to be, but I guarantee if you look hard enough at your life now, you will start to find the talents and resources you need. Have the challenges of your life made you quick-thinking and persuasive, or doggedly determined? Are you wildly creative or a brilliant organiser? These are the skills that will help you along the way.

E: Examine Your Options

You know where you are, and where you want to get to. Now you can start thinking about the route. Are there things you need to learn? Resources you need to acquire? Be wary of assuming you need to earn a fortune before you start. Far more people make their fortune as a result of living their dreams, and helping others live theirs, than live their dreams as a result of chasing a fortune. If you can't find a creative way to get what you need, ask a friend or a coach to brainstorm with you.

A: Act

This one's short and sweet, but unmissable if you want to get anywhere. As soon as you have a reasonable idea of your route, set out. You can always correct your course later, and you'll learn far more by getting out there and exploring the territory than by sitting at home examining the map.

M: Monitor Progress

Once you've got moving, don't forget to keep track of your progress. Notice what's working and what's not, and whenever something's not working, go back to looking at the options and seeing what you could do differently. And, when something is working, don't forget the final step...

S: Succeed and Celebrate!

Of course, the life of your dreams at the end is a huge reward. But don't forget to enjoy the journey too. When you reach a milestone, take a moment to rest, admire the view and the progress you've made, and reward yourself with a healthy treat!

Where Do Goals Come From?

What gives rise to your goals? What determines whether you even set goals at all?
I believe the answer is your context. Your context is your collection of beliefs about reality. It’s the soil in which your thoughts grow.

For example, if you have very materialistic goals and have become skilled at achieving them, then you probably have a very materialistic context. Your beliefs about reality are rooted in materialism.

This is just common sense, right? You will tend to take actions that seem reasonable to you. And the question of reasonableness is answered by your context. What is reasonable to you depends on how you happen to view reality.

You don’t actually make any decisions based on reality itself, do you? You make decisions based on your interpretation of reality. Your sensory input, your memories, and your thoughts and beliefs comprise your map of reality. You ultimately base your decisions on this map.
So where does context come from?

For the most part, we inherit it. We learn our contexts by absorbing the contexts of other people. We’re conditioned by our upbringing, education, family, community, government, media, the Internet, etc. The people we meet, the books we read, the things we see on TV — these all contribute to our context. They help us determine how to interpret reality. Even this web site is making a small contribution towards shaping your context.

For example, what is marriage? Is it a legal arrangement? A religious sacrament? A connection between soulmates? Dependent on the couple? How you answer this question will depend on your context. Ask different people and you’ll get different answers.

After reaching adulthood most people don’t change their context much. It’s possible that you may set and achieve many goals but barely question your context at all. It’s like being a farmer who grows crops year after year in essentially the same soil, the same plot of land. It seems very natural and normal to do this. It’s simply a matter of doing what you’ve always been doing.
You can achieve some interesting results in life just by living within your current context. But if you learn how to manipulate your context as well, you can gain access to an even greater field of experiences.

Every context is a lens through which you view reality, and each lens will enhance some parts of your life and weaken others. The problem is that most people have grown so used to their current context that they forget they have one. Thus, they mistake their context for reality itself rather than seeing it for the lens it is. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to help you to better understand your own context and to give you the tools to make changes at that level.

How to Win an Argument...??

How do you handle the situation where the other person continually sucks you into an argument that you never seem to be able to win?

In a typical argument, each person tries to prove themselves right and the other person wrong. Of course, we all know what happens in the end — each person only ends up more entrenched in their views, regardless of who seems to deliver the most dominant argument.
An argument cannot be won with resistance. You will only strengthen the other person’s resolve. At best you will both leave in a state of stubbornness, but little communication will have actually occurred.

The way to “win” an argument is to aim for a goal other than being right. The other person will be prepared to defend against someone who is trying to prove themselves right. Trying to prove yourself right and the other person wrong is like making a frontal assault on an entrenched enemy position. You’ll need overwhelming force to win, and your victory will come at great cost, if you can even pull it off. Plus you’ll leave your relationship wounded in the end.
So instead of trying to be right, I’ve found that the best way to win an argument is to go for an entirely different goal. This has worked for me every time I’ve applied it, and I’ve used it dozens of times.

If you aren’t trying to win the argument, then what is your goal? I suggest you set the goal of attempting to raise the other person’s awareness while maintaining your own sense of inner peace. By this I mean that you focus on helping the other person become more aware of the full extent of their behavior and how it affects you and others, but without taking ownership of anything the other person says.

This means you keep your focus on the other person and their behavior. Whenever s/he tries to pigeonhole you into a negative role, you simply side-step their comments and then redirect their own energy back upon them. In a way it’s like verbal martial arts. Never defend against any of their comments. Simply redirect the comments back to the person.

In other words, you don’t attack — ever. You merely deflect the other person’s attacks back to them, over and over. You become like a mirror. So the more the other person tries to attack you, the more they weaken themselves. People can’t punch themselves in the face for too long.
If someone were to try to attack me in an argument, I would just say things like, “You seem to be fairly upset about this. Why do you think that is?” or “So you’re saying you’d like to feel free to disregard my requests if you don’t agree with them. Is that correct?” or “Is this how you’d like to continue to feel about this situation?” or “Do you feel your behavior towards me is honorable and respectful?”

Stay focused on the other person and their feelings, not your own. But don’t take ownership of anything they say. Simply allow it to pass through you like a knife through water and come out the other side. And metaphorically speaking, keep asking the person about the knife they’re holding and how they feel about it.
Usually the other person will start by answering all my questions with the words, “Because you…” My goal is to help guide the other person to focus on their own feelings, and I know I’m making progress when their answers begin taking the form of “Because I…” I help them to take ownership of their feelings.

Remember that if someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks. In order for there to be any sting to the attack, you must accept it. Simply decline the “gift” and the other person won’t be able to land a single blow no matter how hard they try. Be like air or water — if they try to attack you, they merely wear themselves out.

This takes practice, but it works extremely well. The key is to put yourself into a state of compassion and empathy and keep reminding yourself that the negativity isn’t about you — it’s an internal issue the other person is dealing with. So whatever the other person says, you simply reflect it back to them. This will have the effect of raising the other person’s awareness. Many times people can’t handle that, so they’ll either blow up emotionally or give up. Either way, it helps put an end to the previous destructive relationship and paves the way for something better to emerge.

A technique I use to keep myself focused on raising the other person’s awareness is that I form a mental image of that person’s “higher self.” I imagine the best possible form of that person — their soul if you will — standing in the room with us like an apparition. Then I put myself in a state where I feel like I’m channeling the thoughts of that higher self, and I allow the higher self to speak through me and to ask all the questions. This is amazingly effective — in fact, it works so well that I wonder if I am indeed channeling some kind of higher self. I’ve learned to simply trust the words that pop into my mind and speak them, even if they don’t seem like the right thing to say from a logical standpoint. Invariably the questions and observations do help guide the other person to be more in tune with their own highest and best self. They begin seeing their behavior and the relationship in a whole new light, and that’s what often leads to some sort of emotional breakdown. Tears are common.

There are two ways this type of conversation ends — 1) the other person can’t handle facing the situation and basically runs away, or 2) the other person has some kind of emotional catharsis which makes it possible to heal the relationship. Most of the time the outcome is #2 if the relationship bond is fairly strong, and #1 if the relationship bond is weak. I find that typically this takes 2-3 hours of conversation to reach the point of #2. If you hit #1, that’s OK too. Just keep using the same strategy on each encounter, and you’ll eventually hit #2 — either that or you’ll permanently scare the person away from trying to argue with you.

Now if you don’t have this kind of time, then you may want to use a short-cut approach to simply delay the confrontation, or the relationship may be so loose that it’s not worth the effort to raise the other person’s awareness. In that case you can simply deflect the arguments with humor, or you can ignore them altogether.

It does take practice and patience to use this type of approach, and it hinges upon your ability to keep yourself in a high state of awareness, focusing on unconditional love and compassion for the other person. I don’t think of it as having a thick skin but rather as having reflective skin or even no skin. You have to put yourself in a state where you are unattackable. This will frustrate the other person to no end, but that’s the point — to let the other person burn off all their negative energy by swinging at air. And as they grow tired, their own shields will begin to collapse. But instead of attacking at that point, you empathize and connect with them and strive to reconnect them with their truest and best self.

For me this has become an ingrained way of communicating. Whenever I get attacked by someone wanting to provoke an argument, I simply see it as a cry for help. The other person is disconnected from their true self, and my role (time permitting) is to help reconnect them. I can’t do that if I step into the ring with them. But I can let them swing at air and exhaust themselves until they’re ready to face the parts of themselves that are causing them this pain, and then they can begin to reconnect and to heal.

The Meaning of Life....!

One of the major misconceptions about atheists is that we have little or no respect for life - human or otherwise. Because we think that all life is some accidental freak of nature there is no meaning or purpose to it all, and it is all pretty worthless. We cannot possibly gain the same enjoyment and fulfillment from living that believers do. We care nothing for the suffering of others, as they're all just wormfood in the end.

Yes, life on this planet is a lucky accident, probably similar to countless other emergences of life on other planets. No, there is no particular purpose or meaning behind it all - why should there be? What right do we have to consider ourselves special?

However, as an atheist, I consider all (well, most) life to be sacred (if I can use such a word). Atheists know that we only get one chance at life. This is it. This is all you get. No reincarnation, no heaven or hell, no second chances. You only get one go, and to mess it up or waste it is the most terrible thing.

Make the most of your brief span of awareness. Educate yourself so that you can see the wonders of the universe for what they are, without the fog of religious belief. Swim in the Indian Ocean. Watch the sunset at Marine Drive. Tickle a baby. Climb a tree. Learn to unicyle. Massage your partner. Take up pottery. Gain pleasure from making other peoples' lives better. Some people live in appalling conditions, earning in a week what you might earn in one hour (if that). Support an orphanage; which I do by supproting the Nani Kali.

I am often asked "Why bother? If life is a meaningless accident, with no ultimate goal or purpose, why not just kill yourself now? Why not even go on a killing spree and end the worthless lives of everybody else? What stops you ending it all?" To which I would reply - "Have you ever built a snowman?" After all, snowmen are ephemeral objects, soon to be melted in the sun. A snowman has no ultimate purpose or goal, and in a few weeks there will be no trace of it's ever existing. We build snowmen because all of us, theists and atheists, live here and now. In the context of our own brief mortal lives, we are able to enjoy this life and gain pleasure from ultimately pointless acts. It is fun to build a snowman, or climb a mountain, or watch the sunset, or go for a long cycle ride in the countryside. The purpose of these things is not "out there" somewhere, waiting to be achieved - the meaning is in what it means to ourselves. I am not overly concerned about some future fifty billion years from now, but I am concerned about the future of humanity here, now and for the generations that follow. That is the context of a mortal life, and that is why I "bother" to live and damn well have fun while I'm doing it.

There is no meaning to life itself. There is no purpose to the universe. You can, however, give life meaning through your actions. Make the world a better place for yourself, your contemporaries and your descendents.

Atheists can, and often do, lead a full and enjoyable life. We know that this is all we get, and all that everybody else gets, so we do the best that we can for ourselves and others. It's no good praying for people dying in a third-world country - there's no God to help them, only people. If people don't do it, nobody else will. I am sickened whenever there is a major disaster in the world, and some politician or church leader says that the victims desperately need our prayers. No they don't. They need someone to go and dig them out of the rubble, comfort the bereaved, find out why the plane crashed, bring them food and medicine. Prayer is not going to do that - people are. There is an orphanage in Kenya, called the Diani Childrens Village. The kids there have no family at all, and live in, well... a hovel. Do they need prayers and Bibles, or do they need love, money, food, clothes and education?

As an atheist, I consider all life to be sacred. A life and a mind are terrible things to waste. Make the most of them while you can, and help others do the same.

Is that such a Bad Thing?