Everything seems great at first but why is it that some relationships just tend to go downhill after a while?
No matter how hard the couples might try but nothing seems to work and it doesn't seem to get back on the right track. You see we make lot of mistakes with our relationships due to which we suffer in the long term. This is the reason why it's important to know how to avoid them and what they are than to suffer it's consequences.
Not being clear with the goals- Often people do enter into relationship but are not sure about where to take that relationship. They want to one thing but they are never able to stick to it. One partner says one thing while other says something else which often leads to the atmosphere of conflict due to which relationship does not survive long. This is the reason why it's extremely important to be clear about your goals with the relationship and where you want to take it.
Stop being demanding- A lot of the times we get real demanding since we feel our partner is not committed enough anymore. You see demanding more under this situation will only make you more insecure due to which you will further push your partner away.
Try to spend short but quality time- Another big mistake a lot of people make out there is that they don't seem to spend much time with their partner due to which the relationship starts falling apart. You see what's the use of being in a relationship if you don't have enough time for your partner? Therefore make it a point to spend some quality time with your partner everyday no matter what!!
"If you CAN'T UNDERSTAND your partner; then DON'T even MISUNDERSTAND him/her."
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
How To Survive When Relationship Breaks Down...
Relationship is a beautiful feeling and a wonderful experience. One tends the relationship as one cares for a tender plant. One gives ones whole being to the relationship. The breakdown therefore becomes unbearable. How to survive relationship breakdown?
1. Stop Thinking About why?
Most of the people who suffer with breakdown of relationship keep thinking about the reasons. They analyze again and again. Their mind keeps thinking of the reasons the relationship broke down. They speak to their family and friends and seek their opinion. Sometimes they find that their partner was guilty and other times they blame themselves. This is an unending process. There is no use analyzing the reasons. At least do not do that immediately after the breakdown. You can peacefully do that after about a year to make an unemotional analysis.
2. Do things differently-
I have observed that all of us have habit of doing our daily chores in the same way everyday. Watch when you step out of your home. Which leg do you lift first? You will do this everyday. Similarly watch the way you brush your teeth, your sleeping position, the way you wear your clothes. You will find that you have programmed yourself to do everything in the same way everyday. When you have a relationship breakdown, try reversing all the orders. If it is your left leg that you lift first while walking, lift your right leg. You will be surprised at the new experience of doing everything differently. This breaks the monotony of life and gives mind a new direction in thinking.
It is not very easy to survive breakdown easily. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. Some out of us expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. Such people are vulnerable to pain and may need psychiatric help.
The more you think about the past; the more you making yourself a LOOSER. Never run from the past, as you cant avoid it; But you can wll learn from that.
So, You may have many pasts in your life but at the end what you have got in your hand is ONE LIFE. You got an option to live with the pain & trauma of your past and other hand you have a peaceful life.....
So think it and chooose the best for you....!
1. Stop Thinking About why?
Most of the people who suffer with breakdown of relationship keep thinking about the reasons. They analyze again and again. Their mind keeps thinking of the reasons the relationship broke down. They speak to their family and friends and seek their opinion. Sometimes they find that their partner was guilty and other times they blame themselves. This is an unending process. There is no use analyzing the reasons. At least do not do that immediately after the breakdown. You can peacefully do that after about a year to make an unemotional analysis.
2. Do things differently-
I have observed that all of us have habit of doing our daily chores in the same way everyday. Watch when you step out of your home. Which leg do you lift first? You will do this everyday. Similarly watch the way you brush your teeth, your sleeping position, the way you wear your clothes. You will find that you have programmed yourself to do everything in the same way everyday. When you have a relationship breakdown, try reversing all the orders. If it is your left leg that you lift first while walking, lift your right leg. You will be surprised at the new experience of doing everything differently. This breaks the monotony of life and gives mind a new direction in thinking.
It is not very easy to survive breakdown easily. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. Some out of us expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. Such people are vulnerable to pain and may need psychiatric help.
The more you think about the past; the more you making yourself a LOOSER. Never run from the past, as you cant avoid it; But you can wll learn from that.
So, You may have many pasts in your life but at the end what you have got in your hand is ONE LIFE. You got an option to live with the pain & trauma of your past and other hand you have a peaceful life.....
So think it and chooose the best for you....!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Challenges...
First and Foremost thing i would like to say you is this, that "In the whole universe there is only one person, who can help you; and that person is you and only you, and nobody other than you can help you."
Yeah what others can do is they can give u some advice and suggestion which they feel is the best to use in challenges, as they would have used those kind of solution in their tough times and that worked for them(though not always) or they would have got those ideas from their mentors.
So the best thing what others ( including me) can do is this, that we can give you advice & solution what we feel will be the best for you, but we can't help you to take you out of your challenges, because we are not in your shoes. We can see your challenge, we can understand what are you going through , but we can never feel your challenges, as you feel it, because your and ours life situation, circumstances , environment etc...are completely different So its you who has to think and think what best u can do to come out of your challenge. Ya you must take others experience and advice so that you have more choices to think what will work for you.
Challenge which you are facing is a very common challenge as many people would have gone through this part in their life towards their growth. Recognizing this challenge itself says that u are growing and this is just one of the process towards your growth. Just think gold has to go through the fire to become pure. Same is with the people who have the real spark of growing in their life has to go through different kinds of challenges at different parts of life. Remember if there is no challenge then there is no growth.
So first and foremost take a break from everything, from business, family, parents etc... and go for a small or long ( what ever u feel comfortable) holiday trip. Do what u feel like doing ( provided you should not feel regret later, so choose the activities properly) and enjoy the most what you are doing.
Start doing meditation every day, if u feel meditation is a tough task then take some time for yourself everyday, sit in isolated place and think about yourself about your goal, about your past (only happiness part, never give a damn about what worst happened in your life, learn from the past mistakes), about your future etc... think what u feel like which will give you relaxation or do anything what u feel like for eg: listening music, or going for a drive, but remember u should be alone, no wife, no friends, no parents, no mobile, no tv, nothing, only you with yourself and your activities which make you relaxed.
Join some outdoor activity which make your body work out, it can be anything like aerobices, cycling, excercise, gym, cricket, swmming anything which u like.
Then most of the time be with those ppl who always apperciates and encourages you and your work and never give negative critics. ya listen and introspect all the positive criticism and always ignore negative critics. Again learn from the Critics towards you. Try to be a goo d listener rather than getting into any debates.
Stop gossiping and criticizing others with your friends, if your are doing that then you also have to face that. So better be a good friend. If you need a good friend then first be a good friend to yourself. Try to respect yourself first.
Note all your official challenge and personal challenge into a paper and start exploring it one by one on how to solve it. Take others advice if required, but remember don't take others decision, just take their advice and you decide what to do.
Stop blaming & complaining and take responsibility of your own life. You got only one life; make the best of it.
Things will come back on track if you want them to come back to your own track..!!!
Yeah what others can do is they can give u some advice and suggestion which they feel is the best to use in challenges, as they would have used those kind of solution in their tough times and that worked for them(though not always) or they would have got those ideas from their mentors.
So the best thing what others ( including me) can do is this, that we can give you advice & solution what we feel will be the best for you, but we can't help you to take you out of your challenges, because we are not in your shoes. We can see your challenge, we can understand what are you going through , but we can never feel your challenges, as you feel it, because your and ours life situation, circumstances , environment etc...are completely different So its you who has to think and think what best u can do to come out of your challenge. Ya you must take others experience and advice so that you have more choices to think what will work for you.
Challenge which you are facing is a very common challenge as many people would have gone through this part in their life towards their growth. Recognizing this challenge itself says that u are growing and this is just one of the process towards your growth. Just think gold has to go through the fire to become pure. Same is with the people who have the real spark of growing in their life has to go through different kinds of challenges at different parts of life. Remember if there is no challenge then there is no growth.
So first and foremost take a break from everything, from business, family, parents etc... and go for a small or long ( what ever u feel comfortable) holiday trip. Do what u feel like doing ( provided you should not feel regret later, so choose the activities properly) and enjoy the most what you are doing.
Start doing meditation every day, if u feel meditation is a tough task then take some time for yourself everyday, sit in isolated place and think about yourself about your goal, about your past (only happiness part, never give a damn about what worst happened in your life, learn from the past mistakes), about your future etc... think what u feel like which will give you relaxation or do anything what u feel like for eg: listening music, or going for a drive, but remember u should be alone, no wife, no friends, no parents, no mobile, no tv, nothing, only you with yourself and your activities which make you relaxed.
Join some outdoor activity which make your body work out, it can be anything like aerobices, cycling, excercise, gym, cricket, swmming anything which u like.
Then most of the time be with those ppl who always apperciates and encourages you and your work and never give negative critics. ya listen and introspect all the positive criticism and always ignore negative critics. Again learn from the Critics towards you. Try to be a goo d listener rather than getting into any debates.
Stop gossiping and criticizing others with your friends, if your are doing that then you also have to face that. So better be a good friend. If you need a good friend then first be a good friend to yourself. Try to respect yourself first.
Note all your official challenge and personal challenge into a paper and start exploring it one by one on how to solve it. Take others advice if required, but remember don't take others decision, just take their advice and you decide what to do.
Stop blaming & complaining and take responsibility of your own life. You got only one life; make the best of it.
Things will come back on track if you want them to come back to your own track..!!!
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